Whether you are just beginning a relationship, or you have been in one for a long time, we all come up against certain, distinctly human struggles and difficulties. Some of these include: hampered communication, escalating conflict, diminished affection and intimacy, a sense of feeling isolated and alone, or simply feeling misunderstood by one’s partner. These difficulties often result in partners leading increasingly separate lives, even while they struggle internally with feelings such as anger, resentment, sadness, loss, rejection, and loneliness. The longer this goes on, the more susceptible a couple is to the relationship breaking up.
Fortunately, there is help. Owing to decades of research in contemporary Attachment Theory we now have a map of how human love and connection develop. This area of study sheds light on the importance of our closest relationships and the impact these have on our mental and physical health. While Attachment Theory began by studying the bonds between children and their caregivers, it has grown to include relationships across the lifespan, including adult love relationships. Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for couples, which is based on Attachment Theory, is a highly researched, effective, evidence-based therapy that addresses how to create and maintain a healthy and vital adult love relationship. A substantial body of research outlining the effectiveness of EFT now exists. Research studies show that 90% of couples who engage in EFT therapy show significant improvement. I utilize this approach, as well as the body of research in Attachment Theory upon which it is based, so that we can begin to piece together and heal what is getting in the way of your having a loving, vital and supportive relationship.
I will explore the issues with which you are struggling, including judging each other harshly or feeling disconnected and alone. We will look at where you get caught in negative relational cycles. We explore and understand these cycles together, as well as the underlying fears and vulnerabilities that are triggered. I help you and your partner to create a clear roadmap that helps you move from a distressed or disconnected relationship to a more secure, loving and supportive relationship that enables you to thrive both individually and together as a couple.